For Humor On Motherhood

Snip. Snip. Snip.

Well.  There are moments that happen in my life that cause me to pause and think, “This is a memory I will be talking about forever”.  Probably a story I will torture my 12 grandchildren with for years to come.

You know the stories your grandmother has retold once a year for your entire life?  The stories you have to grin and bear through, nodding your head and gritting your teeth until it’s over, pretending like you haven’t head it told one. million. times.?!

Last week, I had one of those moments…a memory maker.  My (then) 4 year old son, CUT my daughters hair. With scissors.  In the bathroom.  Without my knowledge.  I was devastated.

This would be his guilty look…

First off, for those who do not know.  My daughter was born with a ponytail.  Literally, the day she was born, I gathered all the little hairs on the back of her head and tied them up with my ponytail holder and took a picture (a picture that is lost on my other computer) so I could prove to her she was born with enough hair to make a real ponytail. Below I posted a picture of her the day she was born, so you will believe me.  There was even MORE hair in the back of her head. 


 (btw… she was 10 days late.  I always joke that she came out hairier than a little monkey bc she was “over done”.  My friends can attest, she even had hair on her ankles and shoulders.  It was creepy.  [Don’t worry, she is normal now.])
Okay… so my daughter was born with a lot of hair.  yadda yadda yadda.  Well.  The older my daughter got, the harder it was for me to bear the thought of cutting her hair.  In my mind I felt like she was still to little for a “hair cut”, and I liked piggy tails, buns, and pony tails. (Even if she did look like Mel Gibson in the Patriot half the time.  She was so cute, it didn’t matter.)  
For Christmas I asked the grandparents to get her a pretend hair styling set, you know the ones that come with a blow dryer, fake curling iron and brush?  Lolli, my husband’s mom, went above the call of duty and bought Zadie a Melissa and Doug “Hair Stylist Costume Role Play Set”.  (Because Melissa and Doug is the Cadillac line of all children’s toys, right!?) It included all the fun stuff I was anticipating, PLUS a fake pair of scissors, so the kids could “ROLE PLAY” the hair stylist.   Why didn’t my Mommy Radar kick in and say…. Alert! Alert! Alert!!!  Playing with ANY type of scissors will lead to nothing but trouble?!?!  
Well, actually it did… but she was so darn cute pretending to cut people’s hair.  She would even ask you to pay her afterward, and she made 2 DOLLARS in change in 1 week!!!  My heart would melt every time I would sit on the floor and allow her to cut my hair with her “role playing” scissors, and then I’d have to find a penny in the couch cushions to make her continue.  
A lazy afternoon, one week after Christmas, I was home with the 3 kids.  I was in the living room holding the baby, the other two were playing together.  They were playing their favorite “role playing” game, Tony Stark and Pepper.  Daxx, assuming the role of Tony and Zadie playing Pepper (of course).  Tony had to get ready for the day, so he needed a brush and some detangler.  (What man doesn’t use detangler everyday?!)  He opened the bottom drawer in our bathroom cabinet and got out his supplies with Pepper right on his tail.  As he was fixing himself up to hop into his “Iron Man” suit for a day’s work, Pepper discovered the scissors in the back of the drawer.  And of course she thought, “Oh… Scissors.  Hair Stylist. Yes.  I need my hair cut.  Now!”.  So Pepper handed Tony the scissors and said, “Will you please cut my hair?”.  
Meanwhile, here I am, sitting in the living room, proud and puffed up because my children and playing together!!  No one is screaming, crying, or fighting over toys.  I am looking at my cute baby who is cooing and being oh-so-cute and all of a sudden…everything in my house goes silent.  It’s as if someone hit the mute button on my life and then I hear… SNIP. SNIP. SNIP.  
Immediately, I scream, “FREEEEZZZE!!  Stop Now!!  Put. the. SCISSORS. down.!!!!  NOOOOooooo!” (Oh, and I basically throw my infant to the ground and he starts screaming bloody murder because he’s terrified)

I run in slow motion to the bathroom.  And, this is what I find…. 
2 children and a large pile of hair in the middle of the bathroom floor.  
The damage was done.  My daughters precious hair was chopped off.  Though I could swear I heard 3 snips, I only spotted 2 chunks missing from her hair in the back.  (Maybe God spared her from the 3rd snip!  A modern day miracle, possibly?)  After a thorough examination, I realized the chunks were big enough to call in the reinforcements for some damage control.  
The rumor is that “she told him to do it”.  No one got in trouble.  I think it was a result of the “Role Playing they had been doing for the last month with Zadie’s new toy.  I will say, they both received a long talk about scissors and how we NEVER. EVER. cut hair or anything else, unless Mommy or our teacher tells us to. 
I later made an appointment for Zadie Bug to get a real hair cut.  She went to see our friend Chelsea and my-oh-my does she look cute.  
I am not sure why I waited so long to cut her hair.   Maybe I was holding onto that long hair for my own sake rather than hers.  This cut is not only cute, but it doesn’t get in her face; and as a bonus, she no longer looks like Mel Gibson in the Patriot (or Braveheart, as her “before picture” below resembles).  
She did grow up a little more, but she was ready.   Maybe I wasn’t ready, but she was.  

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1 Comment

  • Reply Melinda

    I remember another little girl who begged and begged her Mommy to let her cut her hair :).

    January 26, 2013 at 11:30 pm
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