Things

#Fail

Today I gave my daughter a dirty sock to wipe her nose with… I resign.  Somewhere amongst the mountains of laundry my dignity has been misplaced.  I am no longer fit for childrearing, I need an intervention.  The sock (which was a baby sock, don’t call the authorities on me yet! ) was on it’s way to the machine-o-washing, so i figured, “Eh, what’s the harm?  Sop that snot up missy!”.  Then I was a little embarrassed with myself.

I have also eaten an entire plastic container of baby puffs… by.my.self.  I was kinda embarrassed with myself on this account as well.  I don’t even remember the context of the story, I only recall looking down into an empty container of puffs and realizing I was the only one left at the table…with an empty container of B.A.B.Y. P.U.F.F.S.!  (sigh)

So.  In order to lift your spirits I will share with you some of my recent #fail moments…

  • I once had a green thumb, but I don’t think I have watered this poor plant since the birth of my 3rd baby… let’s just be honest.  Yes.  Thats a self watering bulb… it’s bone dry.  Yes… that little plastic blue-jay is supposed to sing when my plant is “thirsty”… he stopped chirping a long time ago.  #fail
    • Please don’t call animal control on the condition of my fish’s living conditions.  Seriously sad about this.  The fish just keeps on swimming, I keep on feeding him… we breed a tough brood in our home.   I am afraid if I try to clean his tank now, he might go into shock.  #fail

    • Midnight… my baby wants a bottle so he can take 5 drinks and go back to sleep.  Little does he know there is gold dust in the formula and it will cost me $2.00 for his 5 little gulps… I think, “let him cry, he will go back to sleep…” but his screaming was so ear piercing that I gave in.   Until tonight I guess… maybe I will try to be strong yet again.  #fail

    • Dutch…my adventure seeker, my curios one, my fearless tiger… was digging around in some cabinets Friday and dropped a leaded glass turkey on his toe…. I don’t think it broke, but it was traumatic.  #toedrama #fail (don’t mind his raggedy toe nail… another #fail)

    • The couple is coming over at 4:30 to sign a CONTRACT on our home… I try to print the contract at 4:00…. NO INK!!!  I SPEED to Office Depot and thankyouJesus they had my ancient ink… #almostfail  And the buyers never knew…

    • A while ago, Zadie was gifted a babydoll that magically pees on it’s own. You feed her water in a bottle, then she pees it out.  Not in a “fancy Baby Alive” sorta way, more like “this baby was bought at Family Dollar” sort of way.  So I designated her as a bath toy.  Daxx decapitated her.  Now her head is used for a cup to drink (only water from the faucet!! I have not gone rouge yet) My kids refer to this tasty beverage as “Baby Milk”… This is a #fail on so many levels.  I don’t think I will be moving the baby head to our next house.  (Please don’t judge me for this) 
    • On a not-so-fail-note…. we joined a co-op.  We have been getting our veggies from Urban Organics for a few months now and we love it!!  Today is pick up day and I am so excited to see the yumminess we get to enjoy.  One week we had a stow-away… a VERY GREEN grasshopper.  We captured him and let him go outside… I guess the produce was indeed pesticide free.  (smiles)  #win
    Okay, so hopefully on this windy monday you can feel a little better about the things you look at in your life and shake your head at… Life is messy and unpredictable… that’s okay!  
    Also.  We sold our house. I will update you more on that story in due time.  I don’t want to be premature in telling you how incredible of a story it is.  Waiting for inspections and appraisals before I dance any jigs!!  But, woooohooo!!! 
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    2 Comments

  1. Reply Brittany

    I am catching up on blog reading tonight and so glad I stopped at yours! The baby head in the bath made me literally laugh out loud! Love your honest ways and being reminded that we all sometimes FAIL! Congrats on selling your house!

    May 7, 2013 at 4:19 am
  2. Reply Erin

    Loved this list of #fails!! I feel ya, friend. Been there. Maybe not with the “Baby Milk” one, but I’m sure something like that is coming our way. 😉 Congrats on the house!!! Can’t wait to hear more details. Such a blessing!

    April 22, 2013 at 7:31 pm
  3. Thoughts welcome, please share.