So, last night I woke up in a cold sweat from the most horrendous dream… I guess I could qualify it as a nightmare.
When I am sick, pregnant or stressed out… I have extremely disturbing dreams.
When I was pregnant with Dutch, I had a sneaky suspicion that I was indeed pregnant when my dreams started getting a little wacky. After taking a test, I was right…
At 9 month pregnant with Daxx, my first born, I dreamt the nurse handed me my perfectly swaddled, freshly born baby. I cradled him in my arms and unwrapped the blanket to discover a hairless cat looking up at me. (Yes. A hairless cat.) In my dream, I called for Denver and told him to immediately call the TODAY show. I was convinced this was my ticket to meeting Matt Lauer. I wasn’t one bit scared of my hairless-cat-baby, I thought it was amazing, and the whole world needed to see. (What was wrong with me?!)
Well last night, I had another memorable dream. I was at a crowded restaurant with friends and family. I walked through the crowd to the bathroom. While washing my hands in the dimly lit bathroom I realize I have a mustache. I was in the restroom with strangers begging for tweezers or a razor, so I could at least exit the building with dignity and make an appointment for laser hair removal later. Then suddenly I became aware that I had always had the mustache… and to make matters worse, all of my friends, my family, strangers in the grocery store… NO ONE gave me any indication that I was growing a mustache!! How dare them!
In the confusion of discovering my post-puberty-facial-hair-conundrum I woke myself up out of sheer panic. Completely relived to find a mustache free face.
I think I am under a little stress. I am not pregnant. I am not sick. So, stress it is.
This morning, I saw this posted on Pinterest and it made me giggle. Yes. I need to keep calm, but I will for-go the mustache growing for now.
So. Out of curiosity I searched, “Keep Calm” on Pinterest and found loads of funny “Keep Calm” posters. The original “Keep Calm and Carry On” poster was distruted by the British government after WWII, (according to Wikipedia) to strengthen morale in the event of a wartime disaster. In order to strengthen my moral in the event of “life’s daily disasters“, have decided to share some of my favorites.
1: The Jewish KEEP CALM, because dreideling makes us all feel better… hmmm.
2: The caffinated KEEP CALM…. because a pot of coffee really makes me “calm”. Not.so.much.
3: The true way to KEEP CALM. Yup. This one is trumps them all.
3: This KEEP CALM poster wins the “random” award. Who doesn’t feel more calm after hugging a “squishy”?
4: The contradictory KEEP CALM. Dear Biggest Loser, I have done Jillian Michael’s 30 day shred enough to know that Jillian would NOT be pleased with this poster. RUNWALK? Ohhhh… That’s what it’s called when I run a mile in 23 min. Ahh-haa. I guess I have been “runwalk-ing” for all these years.
5: Um, no. Sorry KEEP CALM, Zombie On poster…. this does not put me at ease. Zombies do not bring me serenity in any form. YIKES!!
(I am one of those babies who cannot watch “Walking Dead” because it’s just too gross.)
6: Yup, let’s just accept reality for what it is. This.is.my.house.
7: TRUTH. This is what I tell myself every.single.night. ahhhhhh……. yes.
8: Cupcakes usually solve all my problems.
9: Not sure what the “Thigh Dance” is…? OOOHHHH…. that’s what happens after I eat all of those cupcakes…
10: Yea. Again. Because of all those cupcakes. And salt-n-vinigar chips. And. Dr. Pepper. I concede.
Thanks for reading. And remember to ….